25 Days of Thanks: Day 7….Life

25 Days of Thanks: Day 7….I am thankful for LIFE.

I pondered for quite a while on whether I should write about this or not and then decided that this challenge is supposed to be truthful. It’s not truthful if I feel the need to hold anything back.

December 28, 2006 was a day that will change my life forever. I’ve come to peace with my experience but as the anniversary nears I feel tension rise in my body. You see, I was part of an armed robbery. A three-man take over. I’ve experienced having a gun pressed into my back and my life threatened while I granted his request. I was a newly wed and a mother to an 8 month old boy who meant the world to me. I saw all that flash before my eyes in what felt like hours but was really just minutes. I turned and saw my friends and co-workers being held up across the room with another gunman and I remember praying that no one would get hurt.

I still struggle with this. Just last week I was paying at a store and someone walked up to the counter that made me uncomfortable. My instinct was to run and I was so frightened that I left before even grabbing my receipt. Some mornings I’m afraid to open my blinds for what may be waiting on the other side….but I make myself. I’m a survivor and I am thankful for my life!

December 28, 2007….Exactly one year later to the day I buried my mom who was my best friend. Not a day went by that we didn’t talk. I eventually moved away from her but with distance the heart grows stronger. I called her about everything. I listened to her talk about her simple life. Even once she became sick and the conversations became repeats because she would forget that she had spoken to me the day before….We still talked. We had an undeniable bond and when she passed away on Christmas morning somehow I knew. I called the house and when there was no answer I looked at my husband and said, “My mom has died.” My time was too short with her….I am thankful for her life.

December 28, 2009-Exactly two years to the day my second son was due to be born. I remember when I found out I was pregnant talking to a friend. We calculated that the baby would most likely be due in December. I remember saying to her, “As long as it’s not December 28th I’ll be okay….” Sitting in the Dr’s office watching the nurse do my ultrasound-it all seems a blur. All I remember her saying was, “Looks like you’ll be due December 28th.” I panicked. I cried…but I got I got over it. Turns out my sweet baby was born on the 27th but I have no doubt that he was brought into my life to help bring some happiness to such a somber time. He brings absolute joy to my life and every life he touches…..I am thankful for his Life….

Ni Hao Y'all

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11 responses to “25 Days of Thanks: Day 7….Life

  1. Man oh man. You gave me goose bumps. I’m so sorry for your string of unlucky Decembers (except for the last one). Hopefully, things have turned around and this one will bring enough happiness to make the others seem a little less sad. Beautiful photos lately, by the way.

  2. Dear Jessica,
    You are very brave to re-visit such tragedy with your writing, thank you for sharing your heart in this space and for trusting us with it. I pray that you will find some sort of peace through writing this out as well as through connecting with those who visit you here. I am deeply saddened to hear of your great loss on both those occasions. I am thankful you were gifted new life close to this date. Your giving thanks in this post is inspiring. Sending love xoxo

  3. I was touched by your blog. I recently had a slight heart attack. I’m 34. I remember the night I got home from the hospital…being terrified that I may die before I could prepare my 2 daughters for their futures…as well as their roles as christian women. My heart broke at the idea that they may have to go to prom, get married, have children all without me by the side. I didn’t want them to have to wish their mom was there.
    My mother-in-law and my husband brought me lots of comfort. I thank God for the second chance with my children….and now realize that I have to live in the moment.
    How scared you must have been. You are a strong and courageous woman who obviously cares deeply for those she loves.

  4. Oh my goodness Jessica. That is a lot of trauma to have experienced on the 28th. I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. As I grow older and watch my parents age, my heart aches knowing that our time is dwindling.

    I, too, am thankful that you have a son who brings you such joy. Beautiful post.

  5. Great photos and a very touching read. TFS.

  6. This is so touching. Beautiful post.

    Happy Sunday Citar!

  7. WOW! This is a touching post! I am so sorry for your loss. It is one you may never recover from…and then again I think should you…when you lose a friend such as your mother the love does not change. I lost my father September 30, 2009 and have learned so much about love, loss and life…((at least I think I have)) I hope now that you have your son December 27, December 28th will be a happier time for you. We berried my father in law December 27, that Christmas death is so hard. But then again there is never a good time to loss someone you love.

  8. Oh sweet Jessica! This post was so open and revealing and straight from your heart. You are such an amazing, strong, brave person. I can’t imagine facing those trials and to have them come on the same date. I just love that God brought your sweet little boy into your life at a similar time. Your photos and words are just beautiful! Much love to you.

  9. I too, have had to say goodbye to a beloved parent, and also am a survivor of assault. How amazing that I found your blog today. Thank you for sharing your emotional journey through those tough times. I appreciate it more than you know. Sometimes it’s easier to stay in than it is to keep going out there… meeting people, or being in a crowd. Violence is unpredictable. It leaves us with uncertainty. I hope something positive came out of your experience and that you are healing and growing stronger within.

  10. It really means so much to me that I’ve had such a great response to this post. I struggled writing it and even woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it. I love that I’ve been able to reach out to others who have read this.
    God Bless!
    Jessica

  11. What a touching post. It brought tears to my eyes. Life is indeed something to be thankful for. I am so sorry about your mom. I am close to my mom. She is getting up in years. I have days that I think what will I do without her.
    Thank you for sharing your story.

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